Three aspects of your relationship that lead to great sexual intimacy

Everyone, absolutely everyone, will agree that there is a sharp drop off in sexual intensity in a relationship somewhere between six and nine months. It’s not that it will never return… Oh, it will, but it’s like kids returning home from college; they rarely announce their coming and you never know when they will leave again.

But I’m going to provide you with three aspects that you both can nurture to increase the extended return of that glorious sexual chemistry. So this morning I am going to give you number one!

One caveat that I want to float out there before I do, though is this. If you’re anything like me, you have a lot of people in line waiting to utilize that discrete amount of energy that you have each day. But as you prioritize, I know you will realize that this is on

e of those high value areas that you want to invest in. Both of you in the relationship must prioritize!

So with that in mind… Here’s number one. Especially during those semi arid spells in your sexuality, try to focus as much as you can on your partner’s needs and desires, and not on your own. There is no greater buzzkill than continually to remind your partner about how much they are failing you. The commonly held structure of marital needs says that the male always drives hard to the hoop for his need for sexual relief and the female wants romance and communication primarily. I have found that you can flip that at about 30% of relationships. And having said that I don’t want anybody to go running out the door looking for, someone in that 30%! Remember, this is not about finding your sexual soulmate, it’s about creating that together.

I know it sounds borderline ridiculous, but some of us need a concrete reminder throughout the week to focus on our partner’s needs. For one guy I counseled, every time he pulled out of the garage and closed the garage door he tried to think of her needs. He actually would articulate what those needs were and that kept the focus on her. He credits that one thing for seeing her focus on his needs without one reminder.

Focus on them… And if you don’t know what the target behaviors are, just ask. Ask with a genuine learners spirit, and they will gladly let you know. Give it a shot… I’ll be back with two and three. But please please let me know what you think about number one.