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Part 2: The List of 12 Things In healthy attachment-based dating both partners take turns planning dates each month. Generally, one spouse will plan the first Saturday of the month and the other the third. Date planning is made risk proof by creating a “List of 12 things” each January. This is always one of…

Part 1: Creating incredible into-me-see (Intimacy) One of the most effective tools for dramatic improvement in marital communication is also the most inexpensive and easiest to implement. Over the years, I have come to call it “The Lovers Breakfast”. As the title implies, it’s a breakfast for both spouses beginning with monthly meetings, and then…

What causes you to experience awe and wonder at this point in your life?Do you believe feeling those things is important for you? It is incredibly important for us to experience awe and wonder on a regular basis. Now, I must acknowledge that there are aspects of what I seek in life, that do not…

Each morning I try to begin by allowing God to provide a framework for every new day. No two days are ever the same. And none of us has any idea whether this new day will hold mind blowing changes to our lives or be filled with those beautifully subtle experiences that continue to gently…

One thing that I observed over and over in 45 years of marriage counseling was our tendency as humans to take those closest to us for granted. If I would just say that to most couples, they would almost instinctively reject the notion, and then upon reflection, generally would acknowledge that it is true. The…

Dark Saturday.  That’s what it has always felt like for me. The day between the greatest sacrificial act in human history and RE-surrection. I can only imagine what the disciples and followers of Christ experienced today. But I know it had to feel dark, foreboding and hopeless. Think about it, or better yet, feel about…

Functional Atheism? One day I want to identify as many of the elements that are toxic to a heathy spiritual as I can. So often they operate just like a very accomplished pickpocket in the subway. You don’t know that your wallet is missing until you get home. That’s what happens for me, for all…

Change. If there is just one word in the English language that captures the heart of the human condition it is change. In fact, it is said that the only constant in our lives is change. But it is how we respond to change it dictates the quality of our lives, and our relationships. Change?…

I just can’t stop thinking about the transformative effect of consciously choosing to re-story our lives. Because the process of restoring/re-storying our lives is born from perspective, it can never be completely objective. We unconsciously pick and choose aspects of our life narrative that fit with the story we have in our heads about ourselves. …

The voice inaudible, but crystal clear, penetrated my heart. Perhaps the most beautiful aspect of the hearing was that it was SO true. It just “felt“ true – from someone greater, smarter, clearer than me. Certainly not from me. I don’t come up with stuff like that. I am so eager to take the wheel…