This may be the most challenging element of empathy for some of you. Some of us believe strongly that our perception of life is truth. Or, that at times you feel you know the TRUTH about a situation. Even something as “simple” as who said what last night before bed can be a wonderful example of this!
In reality, your perception of life is really only that, YOUR perception.
Our perception of truth… Who said what, your beliefs, what happened in a certain situation, what’s going on with the kids… All of those things are colored by how much sleep you’ve gotten, how your boss has been treating you, how your parents related to each other, etc.. All of those things and thousands more impact how you see certain situations.
And so, when you listen to someone communicate their feelings about a certain situation, you tell yourself over and over, “this is her/his perception of truth.” I would encourage you to never ever again say, “that’s not true.”
Remember, no humanoid can nail truth… With the simple exception of Jesus, I would say. And since that chair is already taken, you’re stuck with just understanding their perception. I am not saying that TRUTH doesn’t exist – I believe strongly that it does. I am just saying OUR perception of that truth is distorted by life.
And therefore… You don’t need to try to change that person’s mind. By now you must realize that is a lot of wasted energy. As you look back over all those frustrating times digging in with your perception and them doing the same – you can simply let go of your end of the rope…. and just listen.
When your partner knows they can have their perception and do not need to play tug of war, they will feel that you are willing to try to understand that perception, and you guys are well on your way to building empathy!
Lance Brown Creations 
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